It has been a stranger to me most of my life, taking up space when I wished mostly to be invisible.
It has been inconvenient in sex--not cooperating with a lover's searching fingers and mouth, shutting off all sensory perception until I was convinced I didn't have a body after all.
But over the past few months, lying in the dark of my bedroom, touching myself with my own fingers, I have found that my body has desires unquenched.
And with a woman that I trust. And with a woman that I crave. And with a woman that I can't help but press myself against in hunger, my body has opened itself up in ways I had only read about and never truly believed.
All my misconceptions about the inadequacies of my own body have fallen away, and finally, I know what it feels like to lose myself in coming over and over again.