a moment ~ gone by ~ in words ~scribbled

this
2003-09-18
11:04 a.m.

It's so unlike me to exist without definitions. I panic. I need to know where my feelings are allowed to go. I need to be able to give myself permission to be vulnerable, and a certainty of the future allows for an easier transition into bearing myself to another.

But this is something entirely different.

This is...

That sentence dies away without a predicate. There's a power stronger than my fear of the unknown preventing me from nameing this.

(I think it's a fear that it'll disappear)

But I lose weight when we're spending time together. Not the weight of gravity pressing down on my shoulders, but the weight of myself. I feel each piece of hurt break from my body and fall to the ground beside me with the softness of her hands on my face.

Each day I like her more. Her body becomes familiar to me. Her breathing inhabits my thoughts like Mozart's Requium lingers in the energy of a room after the final chord's been played.

I am amazed by this.

And liberated within myself.

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