Our first misunderstanding and there are miles between us.
We talked until my phone died last night.
We both sent emails in the silence.
I'm not certain how she slept, but I slept the sleep of the dead, waking, disoriented, to my alarm clock.
Her email read:
hey hon, i am sorry that our conversation got so out of hand tonight.
i hate to think of this distance coming between us (you made a cute
little illustration on the back of the envelope of the letter that i got
today about words reducing distance), but i really do miss facial
expressions and body language sometimes, and i think that tonight would have
been one of those times ... so here are my words reducing the distance
... and i wish that i were close to you, so that i could see you in the
silence and feel your movements next to mine. bodies are so important,
and i can't wait until we have each others back ... soon.
And she writes through her thoughts as I wrote through mine, trying to interpret her soul for mine.
All this over something as silly as a mutual fear of vulnerability.
but just because i am afraid
doesn't mean that i don't want committment or that i don't want to do
phenomenal intimate vulnerable things like traveling the world with you.
I forget sometimes that this is her first real romantic relationship.
I forget sometimes that when fears allign themselves they can filter words until what's said isn't what's meant.
i hope you sleep so so well, i'm sorry for your saddness, i love you